I don’t know how old you are
or if your high school had a prom, or if you went to your high school
prom. I graduated from high school in
the late 80s, from a public high school in small-town New England. And, although we did have a prom – that grand
formal dance with a live band, tuxes and gowns and corsages and painful shoes –
I didn’t go to mine. I can’t even recall
why, really – it had something to do with my high ideals of the time. Maybe I had read Catcher in the Rye too seriously.
But, as a member of my school’s student council over the years, I had
certainly planned and set-up any number of school dances, formal and informal,
so I knew what I was missing.
The formal dances at my high school were always held in
the gymnasium – which was, like it or not, the largest available event space
within an hour’s drive. Starting on
Thursday evening before the big event, an intricate arrangement of high-wires,
crepe paper, and balloons would transform the rather boxy hardwood and
cinderblock environment of the gym into a pastel-colored, elegantly shaped
dreamworld. We would have themes to the
prom, usually based on some song had heard all those years on our favorite
classic rock station: “Octopus’s
Garden,” “Dream On,” and, of course, inevitably, “Stairway to Heaven.” We drove our own cars to the prom; we consumed
food that we had brought and the punch we mixed; we arrived early and left
late. In short, we made the most of the
time there, because there was really nothing better to do.
A few weeks ago I was a chaperone at my first modern
big-city prom. Although I am rarely
surprised by they way young people do things these days – well, I was rather
surprised by the way young people do things these days, the way they do the
prom. First of all, no high school gym
for today’s kids – no, prom was held at a very fine hotel ballroom right on
Miami Beach. For those who didn’t arrive
in limousines, there was valet parking.
A catered three-course meal was served by waiters in tuxedos. It was a very posh set up – except that
instead of a live band, a DJ played music.
And boy did he ever, this DJ – played it at almost full volume all the
way through dinner, loud enough so that not even the kids bothered much with
talking to each other. But once the
plates were cleared away, everyone moved to the dance floor, and it seemed
pretty much like the formal dances I remember – except we didn’t listen to
hip-hop, but I have no problem with hip-hop in general. I just don’t like any music played so loud if makes the lettuce in my salad lose its
molecular structure.
At times, I felt as if I were at a wedding reception that
lacked a bride and groom, but, as the evening passed, there was much that
seemed familiar – although many years ago I was experiencing the prom rather
than observing: How everybody looked a
little awkward in their fancy clothes; the romantically hopeful singles at the
start of the evening, and the heartbroken dreamers at the end of the night;
those few kids who arrive late and leave early; the rumors of preparties and
afterparties; the arguments between couples and friends, the gossip, the
giddiness, the laughter, the futile attempts to hide bad behavior from the
chaperones. For the young people, caught
up in the moment, it’s as if their entire lives are wrapped up in the evening –
and, in a very real sense – their lives are just that. They are, after all, still in high
school. Who am I to belittle that
experience?
I suppose, in the end, that was one of the reasons I
didn’t go to my own prom – I felt I had outgrown it. And maybe I had – but now, I kind of wish I
could go back and talk to that eighteen year old me and tell him that, just one
last time, put on the tie and jacket and the shiny shoes, pin that corsage on
the front of your date’s dress, compliment her on her hair, and go have the
most magical night of your life.
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